Dear friends,
First of all, I'm sorry for not answering you call, returning your SMS.
You might be thinking, what happened to this lady ? MIA ? Too busy ? ...??...??
In the beginning, when the pregnancy is confirmed and morning sickness kicks off, If I can, I choose not to answer calls. I feel like vomiting everytime I talk on the phone. So I told myself, sorry for now, I will explain to you later when I'm better.
However, after the 2nd pre natal check up, I still choose not to answer call nor returning SMS, becoz I was scared. I'm sick of others asking me 'How are you ? How's your pregnancy coming along ? Everything so far so good ?' What you expect me to answer with a situation like this ? To tell you I'm good ? No, I'm not. To tell you I'm no good ? I'm too tired to explain. So I've decided to wait till everything is confirmed.
I dare not even step out of my house. I'm scared that if my neighbours see me, there'll know that I'm pregnant ( though my bump is still not noticable). Then, next month, when they see me, Ohh, what happened ? No pregnant anymore ?!! I'm just too tired to explain...
I hope that you understand my situation after reading my post.
I'll get back in touch with u all soon, just bear with me for a little more time...and Pray for me and the little life in my uteras !!
Luv,
Faye
Sunday, July 19, 2009
2nd Opinion
I cried while on the way home after my 2nd prenatal check up. I cant accept the fact that the doc has told me just now. Hubby asked to wait for the test result, mean time, still calm and do the best we can !! Tell me, how am I going to do the best ?? I might need to opt for abortion if the result is unfavorable. Do I still take my vitamins ? Do I still treat the baby good ? I dont know...
That night, I told hubby that I want to be alone, so I lie on my bed alone, what happened in the clinic kept on flashing on my head. I called my sister, before I can finished my sentence, my tears fall. I cant control my emotion as much as I wish I could. I was so touched by what she told me ' Dont worry, no matter what happens, jie jie is here with you'. Ohh Jie, so nice of you !
I then decided to go for 2nd opinion, I called up another friend, asked her for her gynae's contact. Another very experienced gynae fr Gleneagles.
The next day, hubby and I went to Gleneagles in the morning. Without appointment, I waited for awhile, luckily the next appointment patient has not arrive yet. The nurse took my weigh...Ohh, another 2 kgs, ever since I was pregnant, I've lost 4 kgs, same as the last time. We went in to see the gynae, told her about the situation we're facing.
She did another round of scan for me. Guess what's the first word came from her mouth ?!!! 'Ohh , that's no good' was the first, followed by ' From my experiences, I can briefly tell you that, if you do nothing about the pregnancy, one day, nature will take it cause, either the baby heart beat will stop by himself or something will happen, and you wont be able to keep'. How could I hold my tears when I heard what she's just said to me ??!!!
She's patient enough to show me a medic book, about the cause and effect of this Genetic Abnormalities Sickness. Explain to us what's it ? How it happens ? I asked ' Could the thick skin fold 'missing' in the next check up ? Means, if it's actually something else, harmless ?' She said 'No, it can only leads to some other abnormalities that we're not able to scan/ see using ultrasound'
After about half an hour of explaining and providing solutions/ options. We lef the clinic.
What else can happen while on the way home, I'm sure you can roughly guess...Yes, I cried again. All the way from Gleneagles to Putra Heights.
Look like the only option we've now is to wait for the AMU test. Pray hard...!!
That night, I told hubby that I want to be alone, so I lie on my bed alone, what happened in the clinic kept on flashing on my head. I called my sister, before I can finished my sentence, my tears fall. I cant control my emotion as much as I wish I could. I was so touched by what she told me ' Dont worry, no matter what happens, jie jie is here with you'. Ohh Jie, so nice of you !
I then decided to go for 2nd opinion, I called up another friend, asked her for her gynae's contact. Another very experienced gynae fr Gleneagles.
The next day, hubby and I went to Gleneagles in the morning. Without appointment, I waited for awhile, luckily the next appointment patient has not arrive yet. The nurse took my weigh...Ohh, another 2 kgs, ever since I was pregnant, I've lost 4 kgs, same as the last time. We went in to see the gynae, told her about the situation we're facing.
She did another round of scan for me. Guess what's the first word came from her mouth ?!!! 'Ohh , that's no good' was the first, followed by ' From my experiences, I can briefly tell you that, if you do nothing about the pregnancy, one day, nature will take it cause, either the baby heart beat will stop by himself or something will happen, and you wont be able to keep'. How could I hold my tears when I heard what she's just said to me ??!!!
She's patient enough to show me a medic book, about the cause and effect of this Genetic Abnormalities Sickness. Explain to us what's it ? How it happens ? I asked ' Could the thick skin fold 'missing' in the next check up ? Means, if it's actually something else, harmless ?' She said 'No, it can only leads to some other abnormalities that we're not able to scan/ see using ultrasound'
After about half an hour of explaining and providing solutions/ options. We lef the clinic.
What else can happen while on the way home, I'm sure you can roughly guess...Yes, I cried again. All the way from Gleneagles to Putra Heights.
Look like the only option we've now is to wait for the AMU test. Pray hard...!!
2nd Prenatal Check Up
Time flies, ya, now when I looked back, time really flies, but when I was in it, it's slow like a snail. I dont want to look back how I got through these 4 weeks. I was counting my fingers each and every sleepless nights. Yeah, finally it's my 12 weeks prenatal check up.
I insisted to have hubby with me to the clinic ( I didn't drive for 2 mths, I'm kinda scared). Since I'm going to have the 12 weeks scan today, so we arrived earlier to do the scan before seeing Dr Foong. We're there at 5.30pm, waited for 5 mins. My turn to do the scan.
To tell you the truth, though it's already my 3rd pregnancy, I still feel touched when I saw my baby image from the monitor. The specialist told me 'Ya, this is your baby, only one baby, this is the baby's head, feet and hand. Since we're doing the NT scan today, so there're 2 things that we need to identify, first is the nasal bone', after changing angle here and there, she found the nasal bone.
Next, she told me we need to check the thickness of the baby's neck skin fold. She told me the normal level is up to 2.5mm, anything more than that, consider abnormal. I cant believe my eyes when I saw the measurement, it's 5mm. That's that mean my baby is abnormal ?? Can anyone answer me ??
She called Dr Foong, and told him about the situation. Dr Foong came down to do the scan again. When he looked at the monitor, I hoped that he's going to say something different...something positive...He queitly did the measurement again. After all done, when I was about to get down from the bed. Dr Foong stopped me and said ' That's okay, when this happens, we're sorry for you too, dont be too upset'...Ohh my, I know him, he seldom talks, but this round, I cant believe what he's just said to me. I was totally devastated, I was scared, I was upset, I was.....crying inside. Is he telling me that my baby is abnormal ?
I looked at hubby, he's trying to calm me. Doc also told us the option that we've. Since the scan is only 70% accurate, we can opt for AMU Test, that's to test the aminofluid, by inserting a very dedicated needle through my abdominal to my uteras, extract the fluid. After the result is confirmed, then we can opt to keep the baby or abortion.
What ? Abortion ? I never thought Abortion could happens to me ?? Same goes to 'Down Syndrome', I never thought this Genetic abnormality could hit me ?? I've 2 healthy babies, how could this happens to me ?Why ? Why me ?? It maybe too early to conclude that abortion is the answer. But why ?? I'm already into 12 weeks pregnancy, 2 more weeks, when morning sickness gets better, I can start enjoying my pregnancy....Why me ? Why is this happening to me ??
Before I left Dr Foong's room, I can see that there's sympathy in his eyes...what else can I expect ? A very senior gynae like him, his experiences said it all. Do you think he cant guess what's the outcome of my AMU test ??
However, in order to do the AMU Test, he asked to wait for another 4 weeks, that's when baby bigger and more fluid in my water bag. So, we've arranged to do the test on 6th Aug.
How am I going to get through these 4 weeks ?!!
I insisted to have hubby with me to the clinic ( I didn't drive for 2 mths, I'm kinda scared). Since I'm going to have the 12 weeks scan today, so we arrived earlier to do the scan before seeing Dr Foong. We're there at 5.30pm, waited for 5 mins. My turn to do the scan.
To tell you the truth, though it's already my 3rd pregnancy, I still feel touched when I saw my baby image from the monitor. The specialist told me 'Ya, this is your baby, only one baby, this is the baby's head, feet and hand. Since we're doing the NT scan today, so there're 2 things that we need to identify, first is the nasal bone', after changing angle here and there, she found the nasal bone.
Next, she told me we need to check the thickness of the baby's neck skin fold. She told me the normal level is up to 2.5mm, anything more than that, consider abnormal. I cant believe my eyes when I saw the measurement, it's 5mm. That's that mean my baby is abnormal ?? Can anyone answer me ??
She called Dr Foong, and told him about the situation. Dr Foong came down to do the scan again. When he looked at the monitor, I hoped that he's going to say something different...something positive...He queitly did the measurement again. After all done, when I was about to get down from the bed. Dr Foong stopped me and said ' That's okay, when this happens, we're sorry for you too, dont be too upset'...Ohh my, I know him, he seldom talks, but this round, I cant believe what he's just said to me. I was totally devastated, I was scared, I was upset, I was.....crying inside. Is he telling me that my baby is abnormal ?
I looked at hubby, he's trying to calm me. Doc also told us the option that we've. Since the scan is only 70% accurate, we can opt for AMU Test, that's to test the aminofluid, by inserting a very dedicated needle through my abdominal to my uteras, extract the fluid. After the result is confirmed, then we can opt to keep the baby or abortion.
What ? Abortion ? I never thought Abortion could happens to me ?? Same goes to 'Down Syndrome', I never thought this Genetic abnormality could hit me ?? I've 2 healthy babies, how could this happens to me ?Why ? Why me ?? It maybe too early to conclude that abortion is the answer. But why ?? I'm already into 12 weeks pregnancy, 2 more weeks, when morning sickness gets better, I can start enjoying my pregnancy....Why me ? Why is this happening to me ??
Before I left Dr Foong's room, I can see that there's sympathy in his eyes...what else can I expect ? A very senior gynae like him, his experiences said it all. Do you think he cant guess what's the outcome of my AMU test ??
However, in order to do the AMU Test, he asked to wait for another 4 weeks, that's when baby bigger and more fluid in my water bag. So, we've arranged to do the test on 6th Aug.
How am I going to get through these 4 weeks ?!!
1st Prenatal Check Up
I went for my first pre natal check up on 11 June. It's 8 weeks by then.
Before going there, I've tonnes of questions that I wanted to ask the doc. However, upon arriving, blame it to the rushing and traffic. I forgot about what I want to ask. All I remember was not to ask him for medicine to ease my all day sickness. I totally forgot about 'Sleepless night', constipation....etc...
I told Dr Foong about the morning sickness, then he asked about the frequency of vomiting, I told him sometimes about 2-3 times a day, sometimes about 5 times. Guess what he said ?!!! 'Ohh that's okay, if more than that then only I'll give you medicine'. The answer is so Him....He doesn't simply prescribe medicine just becoz you tell him you're not well. He also took some of my blood for test. He's never change, still the same, dont like to talk much.
Left there in half an hour's time. Next appointment on 9th Jul.
Before going there, I've tonnes of questions that I wanted to ask the doc. However, upon arriving, blame it to the rushing and traffic. I forgot about what I want to ask. All I remember was not to ask him for medicine to ease my all day sickness. I totally forgot about 'Sleepless night', constipation....etc...
I told Dr Foong about the morning sickness, then he asked about the frequency of vomiting, I told him sometimes about 2-3 times a day, sometimes about 5 times. Guess what he said ?!!! 'Ohh that's okay, if more than that then only I'll give you medicine'. The answer is so Him....He doesn't simply prescribe medicine just becoz you tell him you're not well. He also took some of my blood for test. He's never change, still the same, dont like to talk much.
Left there in half an hour's time. Next appointment on 9th Jul.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Night Night
Ever since I'm pregnant with no.3, I've been sleeping with Gerrard in the master bed room, hubby will sleep with Belle in her room, reason being, due to my real bad morning sickness condition, I cant sleep at night, I need to make myself really tired, by the time I sleep, it's almost 2-3am, so I wake up very late in the morning too, almost 11am.
However, I still go to bed with Gerrard every night at 9pm, after his last feed, I'll off all the lights, then he'll start his counting routine, start asking 'Daddy ?', waiting for me to give him the answer, 'Er ?', 'Mummy?', 'Jojo?'....After a few rounds of counting, he'll then say 'Night Night'. My cute little boy, I love you boy !!
Two nights ago, I was amazed by his counting, he was saying 'Daddy, mummy, Er, Jojo, 'memei''when I asked him who meimei is, he pointed my belly...Ohh boy, u wanted a younger sister ?!!!
However, I still go to bed with Gerrard every night at 9pm, after his last feed, I'll off all the lights, then he'll start his counting routine, start asking 'Daddy ?', waiting for me to give him the answer, 'Er ?', 'Mummy?', 'Jojo?'....After a few rounds of counting, he'll then say 'Night Night'. My cute little boy, I love you boy !!
Two nights ago, I was amazed by his counting, he was saying 'Daddy, mummy, Er, Jojo, 'memei''when I asked him who meimei is, he pointed my belly...Ohh boy, u wanted a younger sister ?!!!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Last day
Today is the last day of my year end break, after a good 2 weeks.
Serious, if you're to ask me what have I done in the past 2 weeks, well, I think 'Tired yet happy' says it all.
First, started with a 5d4n family trip to HK. In a country which required a lot of walking, walking, and walking, having 2 little one can be a torture. Imagine having to carry them whenever they're tired walking. Then, back in KL, got to know that Gerrard's babysitter had an accident, which means that my plan of having a good 'break' has gone with the wind. Taking care of 2 little one can be pretty tired, especially without a maid where you've to take care from A to Z. However, I must say, we'd a quality 2 weeks together 24/7.
Hope that I dont have to get back to work and become a stay home mum. So that I can provide the best that I can to the kids. Dream on !!
Serious, if you're to ask me what have I done in the past 2 weeks, well, I think 'Tired yet happy' says it all.
First, started with a 5d4n family trip to HK. In a country which required a lot of walking, walking, and walking, having 2 little one can be a torture. Imagine having to carry them whenever they're tired walking. Then, back in KL, got to know that Gerrard's babysitter had an accident, which means that my plan of having a good 'break' has gone with the wind. Taking care of 2 little one can be pretty tired, especially without a maid where you've to take care from A to Z. However, I must say, we'd a quality 2 weeks together 24/7.
Hope that I dont have to get back to work and become a stay home mum. So that I can provide the best that I can to the kids. Dream on !!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Mixed Feelings
Just got back from my yearly vacation last weekend, I supposed for a normal person, the mood should still be high. But not for me, simply becoz the moment I touched KLIA, mum called and informed that my son's babysitter fell down when she's out and not able to take care my boy for 2 months. Went to visit her the very next day, looks like, not only 2 mths, she's giving the hint that it's going to be a 'farewell'. She's got someone to pack my boy's stuffs. I'm sad. How could I ever find a babysitter who's so caring and really take good care of my boy...I know my son, he's super duper energertic & active. Help...I need help...!!! The worst part is I'm running out of time !!
It's my daughter's 6th birthday today. We plan to go to the Toy Sales at Amcorp Mall in the morning ( actually, hubby who wanted to go)then off to wherever she wants to go. Time flies, it's already 6 years since I first stepped into the labour ward at SJMC. The memory is still fresh. I can still remember how my gynae has scolded me for late for the induction ( that's becoz me n hubby went for nasi lemak before admitting to hospital). And then, she's going to Standard 1 in a week's time.
I'm having mixed feelings now. In one hand, I'm happy becoz my daughter is 6 today. I should be glad that she grows up strong and healthy. but in the other hand, I'm not only worry, but very worry about looking for a good & responsible babysitter for my boy.
It's my daughter's 6th birthday today. We plan to go to the Toy Sales at Amcorp Mall in the morning ( actually, hubby who wanted to go)then off to wherever she wants to go. Time flies, it's already 6 years since I first stepped into the labour ward at SJMC. The memory is still fresh. I can still remember how my gynae has scolded me for late for the induction ( that's becoz me n hubby went for nasi lemak before admitting to hospital). And then, she's going to Standard 1 in a week's time.
I'm having mixed feelings now. In one hand, I'm happy becoz my daughter is 6 today. I should be glad that she grows up strong and healthy. but in the other hand, I'm not only worry, but very worry about looking for a good & responsible babysitter for my boy.
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